ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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