Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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