I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
