my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
