Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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