She said her name was "party"
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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