I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
