He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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