what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
