Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
