she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I need to calm my uterus...
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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