I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
