that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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