My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
thus making me awesome and them whores
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
