it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
