So gin and wine won't be happening again
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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