but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
