I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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