Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
