I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
