dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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