I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
