He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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