Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
