There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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