so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
