What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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