i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
