Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
