my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
