I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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