His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
4 words: hood of his car
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
