its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
