Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
