I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
