if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
