I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
