Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
