You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
