if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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