Little spoons don't ask big questions
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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