TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
