I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Brb crying the tears of my youth
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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