"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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