There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize