Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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