Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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