I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
is it fun? or sober?
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