Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
