apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
