wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
