Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I would fuck him just for his dog
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
