she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
